How to change your relationship with alcohol forever

The start of the year is the best time to reassess how much you drink – and these simple strategies should help your resolution stick

For many of us the festive season will have floated happily along on a sea of alcohol, lubricating creaky family meals and awkward social gatherings, washing down snacks and feasts and lending a pleasurable haze to proceedings. As that haze starts to clear, and real life comes back into focus, many of us may wonder if now might not be the time to adjust our relationship with booze.
Dry January seems so drastic, though – and it also, for many, proves a partial and entirely temporary fix. It may be better to attempt an altogether more grown-up solution, by resetting – in a considered and fairly painless way – your entire relationship with alcohol. Not quitting: rethinking. Here’s how.
Prof David Nutt has spent his career communicating the unvarnished truth about humans’ love of mind-altering substances. 
And while in the past three years he has cut back his alcohol intake drastically, he says: “I think Dry January is a bit of a gimmick.”
Instead, he thinks what people need is to have a mature relationship with alcohol. “In the same way they have it with exercise and sleep,” he says. ”Having a drink should be something you think about and plan before doing it.”
With so many statistics about how we’re drinking less as a society – Gen Z in particular – those who still enjoy a tipple can feel like a dying breed, or at least one under constant scrutiny. Acknowledging that drinking is something that we like to do, but that there is a way to do it better, can be a powerful thing. 
As Prof Nutt says: “The fact that 80 per cent of the adult population drink, and most of them aren’t addicted to it, tells you they get something else from it. They’re not doing it because they have to, they’re doing it because they want to. Most people get relaxation. It’s a social lubricant and helps them enjoy other people’s company.”
While Prof Nutt believes most people don’t drink to excess, he does think they can end up drinking more than they need to get the effect that they want. So how can we work out where the sweet spot lies?
Remember when the government guidelines were 28 units a week? Prof Nutt does: “It was a lot.” Now the suggestion is only 14 units a week, which he thinks is quite strict, but worth trying to stick within. 
“If you do stick to that limit, then the health risks of alcohol are very low. And try to have a couple of days off in between. Every day you give off facilitates your liver recovery.”
Fourteen units is the equivalent of six pints of average-strength beer or 10 small glasses of lower-strength wine.
Going below 14 is “pointless”, he says. “The truth is there’s no safe limit, but the health gains you get from drinking nothing compared to drinking a glass of wine with a friend are trivial.” And in the latter case, the pleasure you might get from having a social drink can be quite enormous. “It can be the difference between getting into a relationship and not.”
While not exceeding 14 units of alcohol per week is the official optimum target, “Of course, any consistent reduction is a step in the right direction,” says Dan Harwood, who leads the team behind German drinks company Schloss Wachenheim’s top-selling alcohol-free wine, Eisberg.
After 15 years in the wine industry, Harwood has cut back his own intake. 
Given his career, it was all too easy to drink fantastic wines on a regular basis. “I wanted to take steps to moderate the amount of alcohol I drank,” he says. “But I knew it would be very difficult to completely remove it.” 
Setting realistic goals that combined with healthy eating and greater fitness was key. “When looking to keep the weight off and build a better body, I realised the calories in alcohol are the biggest culprit for me,” he concedes. By changing his habits, Harwood has halved the amount of alcohol he drinks in the week. 
The big thing that helped Harwood was portion control when drinking at home. “Particularly when we all have different shapes and sizes of wine glass.”
Measuring out a glass of wine is important, he says. “Aim for 125ml and see how much of your glass that fills.”
Likewise, when pouring a spirit. “That free-pour nightcap was often the one that had me feeling sluggish the next day.”
Also, be aware of alcohol volumes in what you are drinking. “A glass of 11 per cent prosecco in a flute is very different to a large glass of 15 per cent Aussie red, and a Double IPA craft beer can easily be hitting above 8 per cent, twice the strength of a branded lager.”
If Harwood wants to enjoy both a red and white in an evening he will decant what he wants to drink of each into carafes and put the rest of the bottles away. “This allows me to enjoy the wine I want without being tempted for more. I can then move on to the next wine.”
However, the problem with staying in and having a drink is that it can be hard to put the brakes on. Having a hard rule on the subject might be the best option; never open a second bottle in one evening. “If that’s all you ever did, you would probably reduce your alcohol consumption by about a quarter,” says Prof Nutt. 
To help you, he recommends always buying the most expensive wine you can afford. “By and large they will have better mouthfeel and flavour. You will enjoy it more. And of course the more expensive it is, the less tempted you are to open the second bottle.” 
1. Know your numbers
Work socials, a catch-up with old friends or a Sunday roast in the pub: too often we end up drinking more than we intended. 
You can take some of the sting out of the tail of the next morning by having a few guiding principles. 
By law, bars have to serve wine in three sizes, small (125ml), medium (175ml) and large (250ml). Try to always go for the small option, and be content with it. 
“The problem is you get 125ml of wine and think – that’s all? But that’s enough, that’s pushing on a unit of alcohol,” says Prof Nutt. 
If you’re going to be out for a while, have a non-alcoholic drink in between alcoholic drinks.
A really key message, he adds, is to never drink a drink that you can’t in hindsight say was pleasurable. “That’s why in general you don’t need to drink more than two drinks a night. After that you begin to lose value.”
Of course, the problem is that alcohol is disinhibiting. “So you’re less good at judging when to stop,” says Prof Nutt. 
It’s why the drinks industry’s Drink Responsibly labels are paradoxical. “Alcohol undermines people’s will to control it,” he says.  
2. Tell your friends
What can help steel your resolve is to have a group of supportive friends who are constructive in helping you reach your goals. 
Jordan Vyas-Lee, psychotherapist & co-founder of mental healthcare clinic Kove (koveminds.com) has been on a year-long journey of sobriety. 
“The decision was not spurred by a single, concrete reason but rather a commitment to overall wellbeing. However, a prevalent challenge arises from the societal role of alcohol as a bonding tool. Its absence can create a sense of exclusion from social events, as if one doesn’t quite belong to the group any more.”
Based on his own experience, Vyas recommends working on communication with friends, family, and colleagues about the decision to improve your relationship with alcohol. “Clear communication helps set expectations and can lead to a more supportive social environment.” 
Similarly, learn to build and maintain healthy relationships that do not revolve around alcohol. “This might involve finding sober activities to enjoy with friends and loved ones,” adds Vyas-Lee. 
Embrace healthy habits and a natural outcome will be a greater ability to regulate your alcohol intake. 
Often we drink to reduce stress, but as Vyas-Lee says: “Regular physical activity is a powerful stress reducer.”
It will improve your mood too, due to the endorphins released. If you are trying to navigate challenges such as alcohol reduction, then feeling positive will make that easier. 
Try to establish a regular routine. “Structure helps individuals create a healthier lifestyle and maintain positive habits.”
Of course sporting culture isn’t always healthy. Prof Nutt raises the case of rugby players who have been known to drink enthusiastically after matches. One excuse may be, he notes, that “alcohol has calories so it helps restore the energy loss”.
But Prof Nutt says you should never use alcohol to make you feel refreshed or hydrated. As tempting as it is, avoid that cold beer after exercise. 
When I stopped eating red meat, my red wine consumption plummeted. There was something about how I’d been conditioned to feel as if no steak could be enjoyed without a glass balloon of the red stuff. 
I’m not drinking less however – I just drink white instead, often gulping it down with a mouthful of food. 
Not only does Prof Nutt think that’s a bad idea, he goes as far as to recommend that we don’t drink with meals, but afterwards.
“It means you drink less and also don’t contaminate the taste of the wine with the food. And that way you’ll drink less, because you are full. You also won’t swallow such big gulps. And you won’t get so drunk as the food will slow the process.”
What about my pre-dinner negroni on a Friday night? “Aperitifs are a problem because they make you eat more. If you want to control your weight, don’t drink before food.”
It’s not fully understood why alcohol makes us eat more but it’s thought that when alcohol starts to lower blood glucose, that makes you more hungry. “But I also think alcohol erodes your ability to control calories by dissolving willpower,” says Prof Nutt. 
Alcohol is often the cause of poor food choices. Think that late-evening kebab, hangover pastry or fry-up. In contrast, eating nutrient-rich foods can help us to moderate drink intake. 
“Nutrient deficiencies may contribute to mood imbalances and cravings, so ensuring adequate intake of vitamins and minerals is essential,” says Vyas-Lee. 
Eating balanced meals that help prevent blood sugar crashes is also important. “Energy crashes and mood swings may contribute to alcohol cravings,” says Vyas-Lee. 
Even with an armoury of moderating tips, it’s hard not to be swept up in the convivial moment. However it might hearten you to know that the way we drink today is a fairly recent development. 
“We’ve reframed our attitudes, particularly to wine. For 40 years nobody drank wine apart from the rich. Now of course everyone drinks wine,” says Prof Nutt. 
The normalisation of relatively heavy wine drinking is one of the reasons why people struggle to keep within Government guidelines.
Prof Nutt refers to the Hollywood show, Big Little Lies. At the start of each episode there is a warning about product placement. “Every meal, be it lunch or dinner, these women have a schooner of wine. We’ve made it so you can’t have a normal relationship with food unless you’ve got a bloody great glass of wine in your hand.”
Even the phrase wine o’clock is something that wouldn’t have been around 20 years ago. However, habits do change. 
Since reaching a peak in the mid-2000s, alcohol consumption has been falling steadily – especially among the younger generation. In fact, around 20 per cent of the population don’t drink at all and this figure is increasing among young people in particular. 
“In part it’s to do with not wanting to be like their parents or older siblings,” says Prof Nutt. “It’s also mobile phones; they don’t want to be embarrassed to death by people taking stupid pictures of them. And I think they are taking other drugs such as cannabis and nitrous oxide. Hopefully some of them are also more health conscious.”
Consumption among older people has not changed at the same rate. People aged 55-64 are more likely to drink at higher levels and are least likely not to drink at all.
“It may be that a generation that drank heavily in the 1990s and 2000s is continuing these habits as they age, with potentially serious consequences for their long-term health,” says Douglas Hiscock, a psychologist and behavioural health lead for SilverCloud, an online therapy platform which helps people manage their problems by encouraging them to change the way they think and behave.
The other likely reason for the generational divide is economic: Drinking is expensive. 
When my mother gave up a long-standing smoking habit in the mid 1990s, she kept a diary of how much she’d saved, and after four months bought us a shiny new Dyson vacuum cleaner. It’s a tactic Prof Nutt says that applies to alcohol moderation too. Keep a record of what you’re not spending on alcohol and that will soon become a motivating factor in itself. 
A diary can also be a place for self-reflection and assessing your motivations. It’s the main method employed by Hiscock at SilverCloud. The big question is: Why do you consume alcohol? “Are you using it to cope with stress, numb emotions, or as a social lubricant?” says Hiscock. 
Once you’ve thought about that, you can think about the impact immoderate drinking has on your life, work, physical health and relationships. “Identifying negative consequences can motivate change,” agrees Vyas-Lee.
Prof Nutt likes a small single malt whisky before bed, sometimes. For the past three years however, his mid-week tipple has been a measure of Sentia with tonic water. This aromatic drink has been formulated by his lab team to include GABA, a neurotransmitter known for producing a calming effect. Alcohol is believed to mimic GABA’s effect in the brain
“I completely understand the value of drinking, but during the week I have work to think about. And we’ve got a new puppy. I don’t want to get up at 3am in the morning to take him out when I’ve got a hangover.”
At the weekend he tries to make a bottle of wine last through Saturday and Sunday. 
Forming this new habit has helped him halve his alcohol consumption: “I reckon that before I was drinking about 21-25 units a week.”
While there are plenty of beers and spirits on the market that are no- and low-alcohol, the wine industry is yet to come up with a convincing dealcoholised alternative. 
Harwood concedes that alcohol-free wine is indeed trickier than beer: “Particularly when drinking a real wine de-alcoholised to 0.0 per cent, like Eisberg. When there’s more alcohol to remove, there’s more work that the other components in the wine have to do. Also, wine is a very personal and passionate drink: we love to talk about wine, savour it, and pair it with food.”
Alcohol-free wine has some big shoes to fill, but he believes it absolutely can give you that mid-week cosy treat or the kids-in-bed reward. 
Committing to more moderate drinking habits can only have a positive effect on health. 
Our weight, blood pressure, stomach circumference and cholesterol levels are things we should all know, and be trying to reduce if necessary, says Prof Nutt. 
“And a way you can do that is how much you drink each week.”
If you are drinking more than the guideline amounts, every drink you avoid will have a proportionate health benefit. Particularly as there’s an exponential curve between consumption and harm. 
“If drinking a bottle of wine a day takes about 10 years off your life, try to get that down to half a bottle, and that [the damage] will go down to two years of your life.”
Helping us to find new, more measured drinking habits is a cause close to Prof Nutt’s heart – and his liver. 
“Alcohol is the most prosocial of all drugs, that’s why we’ve carried on doing it for probably a million years. We just need to do it right.”